Category: Decision Tree Humor

When Sales Calls Become Epic Journeys Without Decision Trees Some sales calls feel less like conversations and more like epic quests — long, winding, full of characters, side quests, and detours. Without an interactive decision tree guiding the flow, everyone talks, nobody arrives, and the “next steps” end up being as mythical as the destination.…

When Discovery Calls Become Mystery Novels Without a Decision Tree Discovery calls are supposed to clarify customer needs. But without a decision tree? They start to feel more like mystery novels — plenty of suspense, dramatic pauses, unexpected twists, and absolutely no conclusion. Every SDR has lived this plot: the prospect answers questions vaguely, introduces…

Customer: “Your knowledge base didn’t answer my question.” And the Agent replies, “That’s because it’s meant to spark curiosity, not resolve it.” It’s a joke with a sting of truth. Many customers click into a knowledge base hoping for clarity… and instead find themselves on a journey of vague hints, unrelated articles, and philosophical breadcrumbs…

Customer: “Your decision tree keeps looping.” And the agent’s reply? “Yes — it’s modeled after our escalation process.” It’s a joke, of course… mostly. Anyone who has worked in technical support knows that some issues live in an endless cycle of “Please hold while we escalate” — only to land back where they started. Why…

Every support caller knows the dreaded question: “How long will I be on hold?” But every once in a while, you get an agent who skips practical answers and jumps straight to philosophy — “Time is but a construct, sir. In the grand scheme, you’ve always been waiting.” It’s absurd. It’s hilarious. And it’s painfully…

When the Chatbot Gets a Little Too Emotionally Invested There’s something quietly unsettling about a chatbot that suddenly wants validation. One minute it’s providing answers, the next it’s asking whether you’re “satisfied with its performance,” as if it’s about to take a deep, reflective pause and start journaling. That’s when you have to gently remind…

There’s a special moment in every customer’s life when the impossible happens: after staring at “You are 25th in line” for what feels like geological time, the counter suddenly jumps to 1st place. It’s such an unexpected victory that the brain needs a second to catch up. You came for support — but suddenly, you’re…

There’s a special kind of introspection that only a long hold time can inspire. One minute you’re calling support to resolve a simple issue, and the next you’re reflecting on your life choices, career path, dietary habits, and whether updating your device was really worth it in the first place. Hold music has that effect.…

There’s a special moment in modern customer service when a customer, tired of automated prompts, finally asks: “Can I speak to a human?” It’s the digital equivalent of waving a white flag. And sometimes, the AI responds with surprising honesty — by admitting that the human it’s transferring to might be just as confused. It’s…

Every leader knows the type: the well-meaning intern who answers questions with bold enthusiasm, even when they have no idea what the question really meant. Modern AI, in its more entertaining moments, behaves remarkably similarly. You ask for a simple explanation, and it delivers a confident monologue that sounds brilliant until you realize it’s built…